The girl is now a woman but she wishes she was a little
girl. She is now a mother and was a
wife. She was a wife until the boy, who
is now a man, walked into their bedroom, looked at her and said “I want out.” He wants out, after all of these years he
wants out. The image of him standing
behind bars wearing an orange jumpsuit comes to mind and she begins to
cry. She realizes that being married to
her is like jail to him. Her heart
breaks as she thinks, “What about the kids?” and she stands there watching his
retreating back as the tears flow down her face leaving trails of regrets and
broken promises.
The days turn too weeks and eventually months. The girl doesn’t think about the boy as often
and has started talking to other boys.
It doesn’t feel like cheating so much anymore and she is beginning to
enjoy herself. She develops a very good
friendship with someone. This someone
helps her endure the dark times and enjoy the good times. He becomes a confidant and she thinks, “If
only he were gay this would be perfect!”
As the little girl enters the actual dating scene she is bombarded with
vulgar offers and sexual innuendos.
It’s
like junior high all over again.
The girl began chatting with people. At first she was nervous about the whole “online
dating” thing but realized that if she was smart and careful everything was
fine. All of the attention was
flattering at first but soon she began to grow tired of the childish, adolescent
behaviors. She wanted more out of life;
she wanted more for her babies. The
major rule that the girl had was that no one met her babies until she was sure
she wanted to spend time with the boy.
Months pass and boys come and go. The girl’s tolerance for bullshit is nonexistent
and boys do not last long. Besides her
non gay pal there is one other boy who she talks with often. It is by text but she enjoys his company
anyway. Soon the boy asks the girl if he
could call her. Instantly she gets
butterflies in her stomach and wants to run away. She likes the boy too much to talk to him and
doesn’t want to mess it up but the boy claims that she could never mess it up
so hesitantly she agrees.
The first time
she hears his voice she thinks, “I didn’t think he would sound this way.”
The girl and the boy continue to talk on the phone. They talk into the wee hours of the morning
on most nights but neither seems to care.
Finally they meet and the boy won’t stop staring at the girl. This makes her self-conscious and she finally
asks, “What is wrong? Is there something
on my face?”
The boy looks at her and
says, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Every time I look into your eyes I fall
deeper in love with you.” The girl’s
head says this is to fast but something in her knows it is right. “I am damaged goods”, the girl tells the boy,
“I don’t know if I can love again.” The
boy looks at her and says, “We are all damaged and together we will learn to
love again.”
The girl smiles and takes the leap of faith.
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