This delicious temptress I dubbed "Lola" helped fan the fire I thought I had lost. I bought her this July and I have to admit... I LOVE HER!
Maybe I should back track a little.
When life as you know it stops in it's tracks you are stumped, stunned, completely numb. A person goes into survival mode. It hurts to much to live life so you begin to survive life. You find yourself trying to find a new way home, getting rid of anything that reminds you of the life you had, avoiding people because you don't want to see "the look" in their eyes. For months I didn't turn on the radio because 19 years is a long time and there are reminders everywhere on air.
A day becomes a week, a week becomes a month, and soon you are smiling again. Before that terrible day I was aspiring to become a baker with my own little hip bakery. I was told that it was a pipe dream and that it was silly to want to do it but I still wanted it. I thought that if I concentrated on that I wouldn't see what was going on around me. I was wrong.
Suddenly I was on my own, walking away from the dream kitchen I helped build, and baking lost all of it's appeal. I just didn't want to bake anything. I resorted to frozen cookie dough so that my kids didn't have to go completely without baked goods because since the day they were born the house was filled with deliciously tempting aromas and their tummies were filled with yummy treats.
I baked a little when I met Scott but the baking fire wasn't there anymore. He tried to nudge me towards opening a bakery and I thought about it really hard but didn't feel the time was right. I just didn't want to create any goodies, I was exhausted by the mere thought of baking.
Well about a month ago that fire was rekindled and I have ideas running around my head like no bodies business.
Three things help me rekindle that baking fire:
"Lola" - I have always wanted a convertible but was told it wasn't appropriate because I had kids. Well guess what, I still have kids and I bought myself a convertible!
Scott - it's so nice to have a husband who supports me in my dreams and who is always there to lift me up when I am my own worst critic
Brittney - it's awesome to have a brand new daughter who when I announce I am baking again says, "It's about time you get back into the kitchen! Can I lick the spoon?"
There have been other changes in my life but I won't bore you with that. I am finding myself once again and sometimes people in my life don't like it. I really don't care though, I am gonna be me and if that's a problem, well it ain't my problem!
Want to see some more new things I have tried?
I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
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